Choosing to place a child for adoption has to be one of the most difficult, yet loving, choices a woman could ever make. The decision involves layers of grief, pride, loss, and joy, and takes great courage and strength to navigate.
The Aggieland Adoptions team understands the complex emotions surrounding adoption. The ups and downs are real, and we will be with you every step of the way. Adoption is never a one-time decision. It is a lifetime relationship.
Here are three ways to help you navigate the highs and lows as you build that relationship.
Are You Open to Open Adoption?
It seems impossible at first. How can you have a relationship with the couple that will be raising your baby? The key to a successful open or semi-open adoption is for everyone to focus on what’s best for your child.
Open adoption often works best when everyone takes time to build trust and communicate well. It may not be easy for the adults, but research suggests it’s best for the child they share.
When an adoption is open, it strengthens an adoptee’s sense of identity. They not only have a better understanding of themselves culturally and biologically, but openness also provides the physical connection they long for. By having a relationship with a member of their birth family, they feel more grounded.
When a birth mother (or birth family) has an ongoing relationship with their child, they can find comfort in that connection. Letters, photos, and visits provide opportunities to see their child grow and even provide support or encouragement.
As they share in their child’s growth, trust can be built between the adoptive family and the birth family, and they can enjoy the common bond of both being an essential part of their child’s life.
It is important to know that although open adoption arrangements are not a binding legal agreement in the state of Texas, the core of open adoption is built on trust, connections, and lifelong relationships. These relationships are based on the child’s best interest and are a result of loving decisions and commitments from everyone involved. All of us at Aggieland Adoptions believe in the value and importance of trust, communication, and fostering open relationships throughout the child’s lifetime.
Do You Have a Strong Support System?
The National Council for Adoption, along with Opt Institute and BraveLove, published a study in 2022. The study found that birth mothers still experience a great deal of stigma regarding their adoption decision.
They identified their parents and adoption professionals as providing the most significant amount of support. Having the support of those closest to you is key to overcoming negative emotions.
Many birth mothers also stated that meeting other birth moms was especially helpful. Having access to adoption specialists, counselors, and support groups was vital, too. Connecting with others who understand provides peace and stability.
Do You Know That Your Feelings Are Valid?
Every emotion you feel is valid. Whether it’s grief, a sense of loss, confidence, or hope, you have permission to experience them all. Your adoption is unique to you.
You have the freedom to acknowledge those emotions and express them if necessary. Like any form of grief, it is a process. You cannot change overnight, so don’t put that pressure on yourself.
Your emotional health matters. Finding safety and security with people who have gone through the adoption process is necessary for your healing.
Let Us Help You
If you are considering adoption or have made an adoption plan for your child and need to talk with someone, we are here for you. Aggieland Adoptions through Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach is a full-service, licensed child placing agency.
We understand the complexities of adoption for everyone. If you are experiencing ups and downs due to an adoption decision, contact us. We want to hear your story and offer support through our counseling services and support groups, or provide referrals if preferred.
Schedule an appointment with us or call (979) 764-6636. How can we help you today?